I’ve read that as a man gets older his testosterone levels drop.  At the same time as a woman gets older, her testosterone levels rise.  In recent years, I’ve noticed Bonnie being a little bossier and me a little mousier around the house.  There was a time when Bonnie would make the meals and clean up afterward.  She still makes the meals, but all of a sudden I find myself doing the clean up, and I don’t know when that started.  Could this be a classic example of testosterone shift?

When I was a young salesman and businessman, I was always very concerned about our competition.  I always wanted to know who the competition was on a project.  I was obsessed with what they were doing or proposing. I wanted to beat them.  It seems my life was stressful and tense.  I certainly was quite impatient.

Today, I rarely think about the competition. I find myself much more relaxed and patient.  Now I want to know what our customer is thinking. Do we understand their problems?  Are we providing the right solutions?  For years we have been doing Lost Order Reports.  After we lose a deal, the sales person answers questions why they believe we lost the order.  I used to read them… not any more.  In fact, we now do Won Order Reports.  When we earn an order, our sales person answers a series of questions so that we have a better understanding of why the customer selected our solution.  Some of the questions they answer are:  What industry do they serve?  What do they do better than anyone else?   What are the top problems on their shop floor?  The only competition related questions is —  What do you think your competitor is telling their boss why they lost this order?

I carefully read and scrutinize every Won Order Report.  I find the answers compelling — especially what our customer is better at than anyone else.  I believe the key to our success is to focus our resources on helping them be even better.  I feel liberated that my thoughts and energy are with our customers — and not with the competition.

I like to think that this refocus and calmness is a natural evolution of me getting wiser as I age, but secretly I wonder if it’s the testosterone thing.  I know I am not as competitive as I once was.  On the other hand, I am much more passionate about helping our customers.  In the old days, my primary focus was on getting the order!  Today, if we don’t get an order because we didn’t have the right solution or because we couldn’t convince our customer we had the right solution, I accept that without depression or remorse.  I regard the entire event as a learning experience.

As far as the question, less testosterone versus getting older/wiser, I am not sure.  It is probably both.  Will the testosterone shift with Bonnie get more extreme?  I’ll let you know as soon as I finish the laundry.

Sincerely,